Pandoraspace

Reflection after Faeq Biria’s class:  Could a person immersed in a world that calls for one to be aggressive and to always doubt the veracity of things that come before him even achieve the benefits of yoga while living in that world?  Rina had said time and time again that a person achieve the  benefits of yoga through the practice of non-violence.  I wonder whether it is possible for me to ever achieve those benefits when I live in a world of aggression.

Day 2 of Faeq Biria’s workshop: An awareness in my cells

Alya introduced this concept that was so alien to me sometime ago.  She said that one of the great yoga teachers told her that a benefit of practicing Iyengar yoga is to have awareness in the cells.  

Usually, when we are given instruction on how to move our body, the instruction is first processed by our mind and then the mind signals our body to move accordingly.  When we have awareness in the cells, that period wherein our mind processes the instruction and transmit it to our body is significantly reduced or eliminated.  I suppose it is akin to how we react instinctively.  For example, when a stray ball is about to hit us, without thinking, our body tries to avoid it.  Within the period when that unexpected stray ball is about to hit us, we have no time to think will our selves to avoid the ball.  We just do.

On the last hour of Faeq Biria’s workshop, I was picking up a block, and in the process, I happen to look at the hand picking up the block.  At first, I found my hand rather strange but I could not immediately tell why.  After what seemed like a long time, I realized that my fingers were bent in a funny way to make it easier for me to pick up the block.  Of course, when I realized my fingers were bent in a funny way, my mind immediately commanded them to straighten and they did.  

On hindsight, I wonder if I had in a tiny way achieved that so called concept of awareness in the cells when my fingers bent in a funny way to pick up the block without my mind telling my fingers to bend that way. 

Day 2 with Faeq Biria: Bearing suffering well

At the end of our class, I approached Faeq Biria to say goodbye and thank you for giving me greater insight into the practice of yoga. When he saw me, Faeq Biria extended his hand, I took it and we shook hands. He then told me that I bear suffering well and that not everyone does. I laughed because I remembered that while I think (I say think because I am not sure if this is the name of the pose) I was doing eka pada rajakapotasana II (one-legged king pigeon pose II), Faeq Biria stood behind me and pushed my foot forward until the back of my calf and the back of my hamstrings were touching. Considering that eka pada rajakapotasana II is a pose where one is required to bend one leg and place the sole of the foot of that leg flat on the floor while the other leg is positioned back with the entire length of it flat on the floor, what Faeq Biria did when he adjusted my leg was extremely painful. It was so painful that I actually grabbed the leg he used to push my foot forward to remove it. When I told Faeq Biria that what he did hurt, he told me that he knew it would hurt but that he was doing it to correct my pose. When he said that, I let go and allowed him to correct my pose. When he released my leg, he asked me if he made me cry and I said no. On hindsight, I should have told Faeq Biria that physical pain does not make me cry. Surprisingly, after that painful experience, my leg did not hurt and I am now able to execute that pose with a deep and lasting understanding of how to do it properly.

It is my wish that, in this life, I will learn to bear painful experiences and use them to gain deeper and lasting understanding about how to live life to its fullest just like I learned how to do eka pada rajakapotasana II.

Day 2 of Faeq Biria’s workshop: I know that I said earlier that I would not write about what we learned in Faeq Biria’s class but this lesson deserves to be posted.

Faeq Biria on “Om”

At the start of my third class with Faeq Biria, he taught us how to produce the sound “Om”. He said we should produce the sound “a” and “u” from below our belly button and imagine that, as the sound rises towards our mouth, it gets louder and louder. When we say “m” we should feel a vibration at the top of our palette.

He then told us to say “Om” three times. The first time should be the loudest as it should awaken our body. The second “Om” should not be uttered as loud as the first. The second “Om” is intended to awaken our mind. The third “Om” should be said quietly to call to mind our true selves. In answer to the unspoken question of why “Om” should not be uttered loudly, Faeq Biria said that most people who utter “Om” in the proper way cannot bear or handle the sound of “Om” if it is uttered loudly.

I wonder how a sound emanating from me could be so unbearable.

I will keep trying to say “Om” in the way Faeq Biria instructed in the hopes that one day, I will understand what it means for “Om” to be so unbearable.

Day 1 with Faeq Biria: Yoga is so hard

After today’s classes, it happened that Faeq Biria, Rina, some other classmates and I got on the same lift. After several days of cramming for his class and today’s five hours of yoga, I could not help but tell Faeq Biria what I felt, specifically I said “Yoga is so hard”. I was not just talking of physical difficulty of the asanas but also how difficult it is to think and will one’s self to get into those asanas. For perhaps a few minutes, no one reacted to what I said and I did not expect anyone to react since it was just a statement of my feelings at that time. Before we got off the lift, Faeq Biria told me that many people think that yoga is easy but it is not. He then said, “so, don’t worry, you will do alright.”

I hope that what Faeq Biria said is true, that is, that I would be alright. As I progress through this practice called yoga, I find myself wondering if this bus called yoga will stop and whether when it does I would get off it.

Day 1 of Faeq Biria’s workshop:  I will not attempt to write about what I had learned at today’s yoga classes (yes, there were two classes in one day) with Faeq Biria. There are far too many new things I learned and most of the things I learned are far too complicated to describe in words. There are even more things that Faeq Biria said in the classes today that I have yet to understand and experience.

As my memory is faulty, I am writing about how I felt during today’s classes with Faeq Biria. In the future, when I forget why I am still on this bus called yoga, I need to read this article to remember.

Day 1 with Faeq Biria: Savasana 

My favorite asana is savasana (corpse pose) for the simple reason that this is usually the last pose of each yoga class and that it is deceptively simple to do. You lie on you back, head resting on a blanket, eyes closed, arms on the sides, palms facing upwards and feet stretched out with the toes pointing downwards. The lights are dimmed and for a few minutes, you let your mind and body go.

During my first class with Faeq Biria, he asked us to do savasana at the end of the class. I recall Faeq Biria giving a series of instructions, among which, were to exhale and feel our spine and the skin melt to the floor. I recall hearing a classmate of mine snore. And then, it was as if I disappeared from myself. I am certain I was not asleep. I was also certain I was not conscious. It seemed like I was nowhere, but, this is impossible. The next time I gained consciousness was when I heard Faeq Biria giving another series of instructions. Then, I felt rested and at peace.

After the class, I wondered where I was in that brief moment in time.

I would like to think that I shattered into a million pieces and that those pieces where everywhere. Only, when I gained my consciousness and those pieces of me came back, I was a different me.

Do I think that I achieved the benefits of savasana? I do not know. It is presumptions for me to assume that I did. What is certain is that this experience does not scare me. Rather, I found joy in this novel experience.

Day 9 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s worshop: Today’s class could only be described as a lesson in humility.

I had been working hard for several days to get my mind and body in tune and ready for Faeq Biria’s workshop.  I came to class feeling like I could finally do all the asanas that Rina would ask me to do.  I was so wrong.

This day was not a good one for me.  I could not get myself to do a number of asanas.  In fact, Rina told me that she though I was tired and that I should just stay in the corner and get into the relaxing pose called supta baddha konasana (a pose that begins when one sits almost indian-style on the floor but with the soles of the feet touching each other, and with the feet in that position, one lies down on ones back over a bolster).  I wondered whether all the work I put into the practice went to waste.  Much later, I though to myself that perhaps I was not tired.  Perhaps I was just too egotistical when I went to class today.  I should have just waited to see what asanas I could achieve instead of thinking that I could actually do the poses.  Then, I would not be so disappointed in myself.

Day 8 of cramming for Faeq Biria’ workshop: I’m still alive!

Day 7 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s workshop:  I started today’s class feeling like Donkey on Shrek II.  Even before the class started, I repeatedly asked myself “Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?”  I was tired from yesterday’s classes and I doubted my ability to last through today’s hour and a half class.

Surprisingly, however, today’s class was over before I knew it.  

Day 6 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s workshop: Today was all about backward bends and this is all I remember.