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WARNING:  DO NOT FOLLOW THIS DINOSAUR

Yesterday, a little boy who had seen me doing yoga showed me that his dinosaur could do yoga too.  He then took his Brachiosaurus and positioned it doing Vrikshasana (handstand).  At first I laughed at how silly the dinosaur looked, then, I felt sad because I realized that I looked like the dinosaur while doing my asanas.  Like the Brachiosaurus, my spine was misaligned.

I attended nine out of the fourteen classes of Jawahar Bangera’s workshop.  In those classes, Jawahar made me realize that, in yoga, I was a dinosaur who had to evolve in order to survive.

Jawahar pointed out that (a) my asanas were incorrectly executed because I was overly working my lower back and hardly working my dorsal spine; (b) I had a tendency to hold my breath while doing the asanas; (c) I was using my mind (instead of my intelligence) to execute my asanas; and (d) I had to work diligently on transforming the manner and means of doing my asanas to avoid injury and hopefully achieve the benefits of yoga. Jawahar then patiently taught this dinosaur how to evolve in the hope that, through time, my asanas would be executed correctly.

At the end of the last class with Jawahar, my ego was bruised and my body ached but my mind had quieted considerably.

While I am daunted by the difficult task of working on transforming my asanas, I am humbled and grateful that there is room for me to better myself.

A simply lesson on non-violence through Yoga

In order to teach us how to do Adho Mukha Svanasana (downward facing dog) correctly, Jawahar asked one of our classmates to get into that asana. As the explanations of Jawahar and corrections on my classmate took some time, my classmate began to sweat profusely and his legs and arms began to shake. My classmate, like me, was a beginner yoga student.  For beginners, pain in the arms and legs and the shakes were a common experience.  Correct practice through time will make getting into and sustaining the asana easier and will eliminate the pain and the shakes.

While my classmate was sweating and shaking it out in Adho Mukha Svanasana, Jawahar asked him if his legs and arms hurt.  I was surprised by the question as it was very obvious that my classmate was in pain.  Jawahar then told my classmate to remember the pain in his arms and legs and told him to get out of the pose.  Then, in a quiet voice, Jawahar said that our legs and arms have the ability to inflict pain on others. Quite possibly, the pain we inflict on others is the same pain we feel in our arms and legs as we get into an asana.  Immediately, I tried to remember those times when my sister and I would have spanking and hitting sessions when we were children and I was horrified at the realization that I must have inflicted so much pain on her.  Over twenty years after my parents scolded me for hitting my sister, I am now truly sorry for what I did.

As we strive, through constant practice, to eliminate the pain in our arms and legs when we do the asanas, we should constantly work to avoid inflicting the same pain on others as well.  According to Jawahar, the asanas teach us how not to inflict violence or injury on ourselves so that we may learn not to do it to others.

Perhaps this is a very simple lesson in non-violence but I must say that the full impact of this lesson will dawn on you once you feel pain in your the arms and legs as you learn to do Adho Mukha Svanasana.

Lessons in Humility and Compassion

It was in the morning class of the second day of the workshop that Jawahar told me that I had to re-learn Salamba Sirsasana. As there was another class that  afternoon, I went up to Jawahar after the morning class and asked him to teach me how to do Salamba Sirsasana correctly. Jawahar asked me if I was coming to class the next day and told me he would teach it to me then.  During the afternoon class when Jawahar finished explaining a lesson in Pranayama, he asked the class whether we had any questions. Then, he looked at me and said to the class that we should not ask him questions after class but during the classes so all could learn.  I need not tell you that that statement made me feel bad.

I did not, therefore, expect much after that set down. Jawahar did make good his promise to help me correct my Salamba Sirsasana during the next day.  I expected no less from him in that respect.  I was, however, surprised and touched when I realized that many of the asanas Jawahar made the class do were designed specifically to help me improve my Salamba Sirsasana. While doing those asanas, Jawahar painstakingly corrected me (and my other classmates as well) and tried to make me understand how to correctly execute them. It was then that I felt humbled by the attention devoted by Jawahar in teaching me how to improve my asanas. While he is a very exacting teacher, Jawahar also showed me great compassion by understanding my weaknesses and not belittling me for it. Rather, he accepted my weaknesses and worked with me to eliminate them.

When we students later expressed to Jawahar our gratitude for the invaluable lessons he had imparted, he simply stated that this is what he does.  And yet, in reality, Jawahar has become one of my best teachers.

Transforming myself through the destruction of my asana

I know very little about the subject of which I am about write. I am only a student of Iyengar yoga and a beginner at that. I am a Catholic and my knowledge of the Hindu religion is likewise very limited. Consequently, I advise the readers to view this article merely as the ramblings of a yoga student in the aftermath of a disappointing exam.

It is my understanding that the Hindu god, Shiva, is both destroyer and transformer. It is said that Shiva destroys a thing in order for it to be rebuilt and transformed into something pure and true.

In today’s class, my teacher, Jawahar Bangera, mimicked Shiva when he totally destroyed my Salamba Sirsasana (not to mention my ego) and asked me to re-learn it.

Salamba Sirsasana is the headstand, which is sometimes known as the king of all asanas. While I still do not know why Salamba Sirsasana is the king of all poses, It is one of the few poses I learned early on, and because of that, it is a pose that I love to do. Before the workshop with Jawahar, I thought that I had been getting better and better at Salamba Sirsasana. I was mistaken.

Like everyone else who learns how to do Salamba Sirsasana, I learned it by doing it against the wall for more than a year. I found joy the first time I was able to get my legs up on the wall. I was happy when I was able to move my legs little by little away from the wall. I was in awe when I first noticed heat generated by my body as the blood flows down to the brain. I began to believe in the pose when, sometime after doing the headstand, there were days I felt active but could not do the asana because my body was tired and days when I felt slugging and could do the asana. It was then that I learned that headstands are a good gauge of the true state of the body, i.e., when the body needed rest. Recently, I had been particularly pleased with myself as I could get up to Salamba Sirsasana independently, that is, without the aid of the wall.

On the first day of the workshop, Jawahar told us to do Salamba Sirsasana. Strangely, before I even got up, Jawahar asked if I needed assistance with getting up and I said no. He did not correct my pose on that day and allowed me to stay in the pose for all of five minutes. So, I went home thinking that I had done just fine on the first day of the class. Of course, I was wrong.

At today’s class, Jawahar could no longer keep to himself the fact that my Salamba Sirsasana was completely wrong. My ribs were jutting out and I was working my lower back too much. Worse, he told me that I had to re-learn headstand by doing it against the wall again. Jawahar said that my Salamba Sirsasana was created by my active mind. At this point, I must say that the one instruction that is repeated throughout yoga classes is that one must keep the mind passive. According to Jawahar, I had gotten into the pose by crook (as in by hook or by crook) and so my pose was crooked. After that, I was sent back to the wall to re-learn the pose the correct way. This was, of course, a crushing set down for me on many levels. It feels like being in Grade 6 only to be told I have to go back to Kindergarten.

Right after this crushing set down, Jawahar says that re-learning Salamba Sirsasana is character building.

Jawahar has done his work in destroying my Salamba Sirsasana and teaching me the right way to do it.  Now, it is my turn to transform myself and step up.

I have been fortunate to have several character building situations in my life but I never though that yoga would present me another such experience. In the past, I would immediately step up to the character building situation by accepting my mistake, learning from it and doing better. While this recent event with Jawahar has humbled me and made me feel disappointed in myself, I find that I am uncertain of whether I am able to find the strength to step up to this situation. Just looking at the wall brings me a sense of dread.

But, I have never been a quitter. At least I have not quit on anything I believed in. So, for now, I have decided to re-learn Salamba Sirsasana (and all the other asanas).

Before the workshop, I could not find much information about Jawahar Bangera. I only knew that he was a senior teacher of Iyengar Yoga in Mumbai, India and that he had trained Rina and some of the other teachers of the Iyengar Yoga Center Manila (IYCM). From Alya, I also heard that Jawahar was a tough no-nonsense teacher but one who was compassionate nevertheless.

I learned that IYCM was sponsoring a workshop by Jawahar sometime in July, and at that point, decided that I was going to attend all seven days of the workshop. Unfortunately, I got very busy and was not even able to cram for this workshop. In fact, I only paid the fees on the first day of the workshop as I was uncertain whether I would actually be able to attend.

So, unlike Faeq Biria’s classes, I am totally unprepared for this workshop with Jawahar.

I learned a very important lesson today.  

I learned that, as with all physical activities, yoga must be practiced correctly and with care and consideration for the body.  In his book Light on Yoga, B.K.S. Iyengar explains that when yoga is not practiced correctly, a person will feel a sense of unease and discomfort for several days after.   

For the third day now, I have felt discomfort and unease.  During class a few days ago, I knew I was not doing the asanas correctly not because the instructions on how to do them were wrong, but because, I simply could not get myself to follow those instructions.  So, here I am feeling out of sorts.

I remember Faeq Biria giving very specific instructions about how to move the body to avoid injury.  He was very careful to say that most injuries are not immediately felt but occur after sometime when an asana is performed incorrectly through time.  B.K.S. Iyengar recommends that when such feelings or discomfort or unease arise, one must consult more experienced practitioners to ensure that the asanas are done correctly.  I think this is wonderful advise.

If there is one thing I could impart about yoga, or about any physical activity, it is this: It is best to learn yoga (or other physical activity) from experienced practitioners who are able to explain the rationale behind the activities and to teach one how to avoid injury.  Then, supplement what you learn be reading about it.  

Reflection after Faeq Biria’s class:  Could a person immersed in a world that calls for one to be aggressive and to always doubt the veracity of things that come before him even achieve the benefits of yoga while living in that world?  Rina had said time and time again that a person achieve the  benefits of yoga through the practice of non-violence.  I wonder whether it is possible for me to ever achieve those benefits when I live in a world of aggression.

Day 2 of Faeq Biria’s workshop: An awareness in my cells

Alya introduced this concept that was so alien to me sometime ago.  She said that one of the great yoga teachers told her that a benefit of practicing Iyengar yoga is to have awareness in the cells.  

Usually, when we are given instruction on how to move our body, the instruction is first processed by our mind and then the mind signals our body to move accordingly.  When we have awareness in the cells, that period wherein our mind processes the instruction and transmit it to our body is significantly reduced or eliminated.  I suppose it is akin to how we react instinctively.  For example, when a stray ball is about to hit us, without thinking, our body tries to avoid it.  Within the period when that unexpected stray ball is about to hit us, we have no time to think will our selves to avoid the ball.  We just do.

On the last hour of Faeq Biria’s workshop, I was picking up a block, and in the process, I happen to look at the hand picking up the block.  At first, I found my hand rather strange but I could not immediately tell why.  After what seemed like a long time, I realized that my fingers were bent in a funny way to make it easier for me to pick up the block.  Of course, when I realized my fingers were bent in a funny way, my mind immediately commanded them to straighten and they did.  

On hindsight, I wonder if I had in a tiny way achieved that so called concept of awareness in the cells when my fingers bent in a funny way to pick up the block without my mind telling my fingers to bend that way. 

Day 2 with Faeq Biria: Bearing suffering well

At the end of our class, I approached Faeq Biria to say goodbye and thank you for giving me greater insight into the practice of yoga. When he saw me, Faeq Biria extended his hand, I took it and we shook hands. He then told me that I bear suffering well and that not everyone does. I laughed because I remembered that while I think (I say think because I am not sure if this is the name of the pose) I was doing eka pada rajakapotasana II (one-legged king pigeon pose II), Faeq Biria stood behind me and pushed my foot forward until the back of my calf and the back of my hamstrings were touching. Considering that eka pada rajakapotasana II is a pose where one is required to bend one leg and place the sole of the foot of that leg flat on the floor while the other leg is positioned back with the entire length of it flat on the floor, what Faeq Biria did when he adjusted my leg was extremely painful. It was so painful that I actually grabbed the leg he used to push my foot forward to remove it. When I told Faeq Biria that what he did hurt, he told me that he knew it would hurt but that he was doing it to correct my pose. When he said that, I let go and allowed him to correct my pose. When he released my leg, he asked me if he made me cry and I said no. On hindsight, I should have told Faeq Biria that physical pain does not make me cry. Surprisingly, after that painful experience, my leg did not hurt and I am now able to execute that pose with a deep and lasting understanding of how to do it properly.

It is my wish that, in this life, I will learn to bear painful experiences and use them to gain deeper and lasting understanding about how to live life to its fullest just like I learned how to do eka pada rajakapotasana II.

Day 2 of Faeq Biria’s workshop: I know that I said earlier that I would not write about what we learned in Faeq Biria’s class but this lesson deserves to be posted.

Faeq Biria on “Om”

At the start of my third class with Faeq Biria, he taught us how to produce the sound “Om”. He said we should produce the sound “a” and “u” from below our belly button and imagine that, as the sound rises towards our mouth, it gets louder and louder. When we say “m” we should feel a vibration at the top of our palette.

He then told us to say “Om” three times. The first time should be the loudest as it should awaken our body. The second “Om” should not be uttered as loud as the first. The second “Om” is intended to awaken our mind. The third “Om” should be said quietly to call to mind our true selves. In answer to the unspoken question of why “Om” should not be uttered loudly, Faeq Biria said that most people who utter “Om” in the proper way cannot bear or handle the sound of “Om” if it is uttered loudly.

I wonder how a sound emanating from me could be so unbearable.

I will keep trying to say “Om” in the way Faeq Biria instructed in the hopes that one day, I will understand what it means for “Om” to be so unbearable.