Pandoraspace

Day 1 with Faeq Biria: Yoga is so hard

After today’s classes, it happened that Faeq Biria, Rina, some other classmates and I got on the same lift. After several days of cramming for his class and today’s five hours of yoga, I could not help but tell Faeq Biria what I felt, specifically I said “Yoga is so hard”. I was not just talking of physical difficulty of the asanas but also how difficult it is to think and will one’s self to get into those asanas. For perhaps a few minutes, no one reacted to what I said and I did not expect anyone to react since it was just a statement of my feelings at that time. Before we got off the lift, Faeq Biria told me that many people think that yoga is easy but it is not. He then said, “so, don’t worry, you will do alright.”

I hope that what Faeq Biria said is true, that is, that I would be alright. As I progress through this practice called yoga, I find myself wondering if this bus called yoga will stop and whether when it does I would get off it.

Day 1 of Faeq Biria’s workshop:  I will not attempt to write about what I had learned at today’s yoga classes (yes, there were two classes in one day) with Faeq Biria. There are far too many new things I learned and most of the things I learned are far too complicated to describe in words. There are even more things that Faeq Biria said in the classes today that I have yet to understand and experience.

As my memory is faulty, I am writing about how I felt during today’s classes with Faeq Biria. In the future, when I forget why I am still on this bus called yoga, I need to read this article to remember.

Day 1 with Faeq Biria: Savasana 

My favorite asana is savasana (corpse pose) for the simple reason that this is usually the last pose of each yoga class and that it is deceptively simple to do. You lie on you back, head resting on a blanket, eyes closed, arms on the sides, palms facing upwards and feet stretched out with the toes pointing downwards. The lights are dimmed and for a few minutes, you let your mind and body go.

During my first class with Faeq Biria, he asked us to do savasana at the end of the class. I recall Faeq Biria giving a series of instructions, among which, were to exhale and feel our spine and the skin melt to the floor. I recall hearing a classmate of mine snore. And then, it was as if I disappeared from myself. I am certain I was not asleep. I was also certain I was not conscious. It seemed like I was nowhere, but, this is impossible. The next time I gained consciousness was when I heard Faeq Biria giving another series of instructions. Then, I felt rested and at peace.

After the class, I wondered where I was in that brief moment in time.

I would like to think that I shattered into a million pieces and that those pieces where everywhere. Only, when I gained my consciousness and those pieces of me came back, I was a different me.

Do I think that I achieved the benefits of savasana? I do not know. It is presumptions for me to assume that I did. What is certain is that this experience does not scare me. Rather, I found joy in this novel experience.

Day 9 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s worshop: Today’s class could only be described as a lesson in humility.

I had been working hard for several days to get my mind and body in tune and ready for Faeq Biria’s workshop.  I came to class feeling like I could finally do all the asanas that Rina would ask me to do.  I was so wrong.

This day was not a good one for me.  I could not get myself to do a number of asanas.  In fact, Rina told me that she though I was tired and that I should just stay in the corner and get into the relaxing pose called supta baddha konasana (a pose that begins when one sits almost indian-style on the floor but with the soles of the feet touching each other, and with the feet in that position, one lies down on ones back over a bolster).  I wondered whether all the work I put into the practice went to waste.  Much later, I though to myself that perhaps I was not tired.  Perhaps I was just too egotistical when I went to class today.  I should have just waited to see what asanas I could achieve instead of thinking that I could actually do the poses.  Then, I would not be so disappointed in myself.

Day 8 of cramming for Faeq Biria’ workshop: I’m still alive!

Day 7 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s workshop:  I started today’s class feeling like Donkey on Shrek II.  Even before the class started, I repeatedly asked myself “Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?”  I was tired from yesterday’s classes and I doubted my ability to last through today’s hour and a half class.

Surprisingly, however, today’s class was over before I knew it.  

Day 6 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s workshop: Today was all about backward bends and this is all I remember.

Day 5 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s workshop: Prasarita Padottonasana is a pose where you spread your legs four to four and a half feet apart, and while keeping your legs straight and the metatarsals active, you bend until you can place the crown of your head on the ground. I dread this pose as I always feel a burning sensation on the side of my lower legs and would get cramps on my hips.

As my teacher Alya knows that I have extreme difficulty doing this pose, she told me that she would be giving this pose during the class so I could work on it. She also told me to make sure to rotate my upper thighs outwards during the pose.  ”What!?” was my surprised reaction to Alya’s advise as  I would always rotate my legs inwards during this pose.  It immediately dawned on me that I was doing this pose wrong all along.  

In yoga, a simple adjustment of a body part could make all the difference in the way the pose is executed.  This is what I learned today.    

Day 4 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s workshop: I could not attend class today. What a major bummer. I did try to do some posses at home on my own.  I have come to the realization that the most difficult part of yoga is practicing alone.

Day 3 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s workshop: Today’s class is not so good (or should I say I was not good during this class). I was late for class and was not allowed to join the mediation. When I did adho mukha svanasana (downward facing dog), my hands were all sweaty and I slipped. I got cramps while doing parivritta parsvakonasana (revolved side angle pose). Worst of all, I could not bring myself do my favorite pose, sirsasana (headstand). It is one of those days and I am wondering whether I will survive Faeq Biria’s classes.

Day 2 of cramming for Faeq Biria’s worshop: The word to describe today’s class in UNEXPECTED.

To borrow the words of Forest Gump - “[Yoga] is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get.”

I was not expecting Rina to teach today but she did.

Before class started, Rina asked if anyone had asthma.  I thought that Rina had asked this question to warn us that today’s class would be difficult.  I was wrong.  Rina asked the question because she wanted to light incense to scent the room.  Also, I thought today’s lessons would be standing poses, which I dread.  I was pleasantly surprised that today was all about forward bends and twists.  Although forwards bends and twists are tough, I enjoy them because I am at peace when I execute those poses.  

Classes usually begin when the teacher tells the students to sit in sukhasana (sitting with you legs crossed and your palms pressed together), and with eyes closed, say “Om”.  Today, Rina began the class, with a short talk about the Puruksha (the Seer or soul) and the Prakrti (the Seen or everything else). From what I remember, Rina said that the soul or Puruksha is our true selves. Our true selves know no sadness, happiness, pain or joy.  Rather, in our true selves, there is peace from finding ourselves.  Often times, however, we do not recognize our true selves. For this reason, we feel sadness, pain, happiness and joy.  Rina further explained that Prakrti is everything else that we sees.  Prakrti is what gives us false impressions about our true selves.  According to Rina, our Puruksha is like the sun, which is the true source of light.  Whereas, our Prakrti is like the moon, which is capable of giving light but is not the true source of light.  Like the moon, our Prakrti bears something of our true nature but is not quite us.  The reason Rina spoke of Puruksha and Prakrti is because today’s lessons are intended to aid us look within ourselves to find our Puruksha and rid ourselves of the impression of ourselves that we get from the Prakrti.  According to Rina (and by experience I confirm that what she says is true), today’s lessons allows us to fold into ourselves when we do forward bends and to open up our chest and hearts when we do twists.

Half way through the class, we were told to go into paryankasana (this is a pose where you start by kneeling on the floor and slowly bend backwards).  In the variation of paryankasana that Rina asked us to do, I suddenly felt fear as I was bending backwards.  For some unexpected reason, I felt that I was going to drown head first.  It called to mind that time, when I was in college and would get nightmares that I would not be able to wake up because I was drowning head first.  After reminding myself that my fear is baseless, I forced myself to get into the pose and I was able to sustain the pose for some time.

As a rule, I am a very realistic person.  I believe that you cannot squeeze blood from the stone.  During this class, Rina forced us to get into another pose when we were all tired and she said that she would try to squeeze blood from a stone and she did.  Rina was able to get everyone to do several more poses.  This was unexpected to say the least.

So, do I think that I would survive Srichan Faeq Biria’s class?  Maybe.  But, he will have to squeeze blood from a stone like me.